I was confused because I’ve heard—and I 100% believe this—that we create our own reality. I’ve gotten loads better at focusing on what I want and not paying as much attention to the things I don’t want. I’m way more aware of the power of appreciation…and do it frequently. Each day, I make a deliberate effort to do activities that are enjoyable to me. But yet, stuff continues to come into my life that I don’t particularly want. Some of it I fiercely don’t want. And I wasn’t getting the outcomes and manifestations that I did want. I felt like I was failing at this creating my reality thing. What am I missing, God? What am I doing wrong? Why are these things happening to me?
After a few days of asking those questions, some insights came to me. The first via my sister. She simply said, This is life. Yea, I already knew that but this day it sunk in on a deeper level. Not that I now expect or want bad stuff. But I realized that I had gotten to a point where I was almost desperate for the good things to happen. I had felt like I put in my dues and deserved only good from here on out. That’s not life. Life is comprised of ups and downs, good and crap. Just because I have a down day or some awful circumstance crops up, doesn’t mean I’m flunking at creating the life that I want.
This is life concept helped me to see that—and this is so key—I can’t not live my life in the meantime while waiting for the good stuff. I’ve got to deliberately focus on happiness, find fun, and be light-hearted even when I’m in the midst of dealing with difficulties or struggling through a rough day.
After realizing and accepting this, I felt lighter, more at ease, and less pressured to “get what I want”.
A day soon following, I found myself exceptionally happy while working at my office job on a very detailed project (one that I, unsuccessfully, tried to ditch). I caught myself in mid-happiness and gasped, This is not my dream job! I shouldn’t be so happy doing this task!
That’s when the next insight came through: Maybe we are creating our reality, in general. Sure, we can create our reality in specific, delicious detail when we get really, really good at it. But in the meantime, we’re creating an overall theme. In general, I wanted to be happy. And I was happy. Period.
Sure, specifically I wanted to be happy doing work that is more meaningful to me. But I had gotten the overall emotion that I wanted…happy while working. I wasn’t failing at creating my reality; I was succeeding, in general.
And I realized that just because my life wasn’t the exact picture that I was envisioning, didn’t mean that my bigger, more specific dreams weren’t coming to fruition. In other words, I shouldn’t give up on my dreams. But in the interim, I carried on doing things that made me happy, like arts & crafts. When life gives you lemons, make a lemon wreath!