My Book: Trail to My True Self

It has been quite a while since I published a new blog post. It’s not because I have just been “sitting around”. Ha! For many months, I wasn’t quite sure how to follow the two previous posts about the traumatic period for my husband and me. So, I didn’t post anything.

But, I did write.

For several years, I had been working on a self-help type of book. Loving the process; then hating it. Picking up where I left off; and then abandoning it. A back and forth pattern that drove me crazy. But recently, things lined up to bring me the help, motivation, and inspiration I needed to get the book completed!

Since Don’s heart surgery, I’ve gotten a new perspective on life. It made me see past experiences in a new light and understand them on a different level.

So, I changed the genre of my book from self-help to memoir. That means my nitty-gritty personal stuff is in there! I recount the whole story of how a cute guy helped me to discover my self-worth issue while hiking in the Grand Canyon. The realization that my dad’s early death contributed to the denial of my true self. And how not valuing and loving myself played out in everyday life—fearing my first kiss as a teenager; being an imposter with my husband; and suffering at work, to name a few.

My hope is that this book leads you to strengthen the value and love you always deserved from your true self.

Check back soon for the upcoming release of Trail to My True Self: My Journey to Self-Love and Happiness!

 

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Increasing Self-Worth, Part 3

Let’s continue on from the last post with more actions that increase our self-worth.

We do what we want.  This is about following what our intuitions and hearts tell us rather than letting others negatively influence or talk us out of what we feel and know in our cores.  This is about being the liver of our own lives rather than living lives commanded by others.

In order to do what interests us, we must know what we like!  We love ourselves enough to take the time and energy to find out what interests us rather than live by default, i.e., just go along with whomever we happen to be with.  We do and embrace what interests us, even if they are not the popular things to do.

We put ourselves first.  (Yes, you read that right!)  We put ourselves at the top of our To-Do lists.  We make the time for the activities, hobbies and pursuits we want to do.  We don’t do everything for others and then see if there’s time and energy left for ourselves. Don’t let the ego say there’s no time for ourselves because work, chores and responsibilities must be done.  Some days a few minutes of what we want to do, will suffice.

Important to note is that this is not selfish and does not mean we ignore others.  When we truly love and value ourselves, we naturally and easily think uplifting thoughts about others and do wonderful things for and with others.  We won’t think thoughts such as, we should do this for him or we should help her with that.  We will just do it.  And as we’re doing these things, we will still keep ourselves in mind, never doing anything with a feeling of guilt or resentment.  When we love ourselves, we radiate love outward, not by thinking or trying to do it, but naturally.  Have you ever been in the presence of someone who positively changed the mood in the room when he or she entered?  When we love ourselves and know our worth, people get inspired and uplifted.  So, it is not selfish to be self-interested.  It is a win-win, a concept the ego knows nothing of.  It is possible for everybody, including ourselves, to benefit.

Another action we can do to increase our self-worth is to feel good when we feel good.  Seems ridiculously obvious, right?  But what so many of us do, rather than simply enjoy ourselves, we feel guilty about our pleasure.  The underlying meaning of this guilt is that we believe we do not deserve to feel good.  Not deserving enjoyment certainly is not a sign of self-worth.  Rather than  feel guilty or bad, simply acknowledge when we feel good and remind ourselves it is more than ok to feel good.  Life is supposed to feel good!

What are your interests?  What do you like to do?  This week, we make our To-Do lists start with our interests!  Let’s acknowledge when we feel good and accept that good feeling!