A lot of the focus of this blog, in a nutshell, is on getting out of the bad (e.g., unworthiness) and into the good (e.g., worthiness). Very important stuff, indeed. It also is about learning and growing from negative or challenging situations. Also important. But, it recently dawned on me that we can – and should – learn and grow from joyful and fun situations, as well.
Upon reflection, I realize that I learn and grow from challenges out of a sense of desperation and much needed relief. I reframe the “bad” event or situation to what I learned or what good came of it to get something out of it rather than just feeling bad because of it. (Check out this previous post.) So its’ occurrence wasn’t just in vain. This is absolutely necessary to be joyful and I will continue doing this. But, this is also the reason why I haven’t been learning and growing from good, happy, fun events and circumstances – there was no need. I was happy so that was the end of that story. I had fun, the end.
But I wonder, why not milk the good times for all they are worth? Not only reminiscing and reliving those good feelings but making a deliberate point to see how they helped me. If you believe in the law of attraction (and I do), then it would follow that putting more time and focus on the good, fun events and times will create more of them.
So, how do we learn and grow from fun and joy? I have to admit, when I first had this idea, I had no clue! I asked for divine guidance and intuitively received some answers.
First the basics – we must sincerely appreciate the joyful, fun event or situation. Acknowledge it. Feel the goodness and revel in that good feeling.
Next, to the “work”. We look at how we got to this fun, happy situation. How were we acting, thinking, and feeling beforehand? Did we deliberately bring about this fun, happy situation (perhaps from our Joy To-Do List)? Or did it seem to come about on its own?
After that, then ask, what specifically about the fun, joyful time did we like? Was it the people involved? The topic? Our own behavior?
Because self-worth is such a major subject for me, I then ask, how did self-worth play a role?
Answering these questions will help us to find not only valuable insights and lessons, but also tools we can use to bring about more enjoyable times and events. The insights, lessons and tools are there. It’s up to us if we choose to see them.
An example of mine comes from watching an episode of Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. First, I acknowledged and appreciated my laughter and the fun I was having. Then I saw that I got to this fun place by honoring myself. I had deliberately taken a few minutes from my busy day to do something enjoyable and special for myself. What I specifically liked about this fun time was not just the comedy, but the fact that they were talking about how people should lighten up and laugh at themselves and their situations, even “bad” situations. I learned from this that I have ideas and beliefs in common with other people. I’m not the oddball I sometimes feel that I am. Self-worth played a role because I felt worthy enough to honor my desire to do something purely for the benefit of feeling good. If I hadn’t felt worthy, I wouldn’t have taken a break from what I “should” have been doing and then wouldn’t have laughed. This reminds me that we could go all our lives and not laugh or enjoy ourselves if we do what we “should” and don’t deliberately take time to do what gives us pleasure. That’s quite a lot of valuable insights from an 18 minute laugh session.
What fun thing are you going to learn and grow from today? 🙂