A few years ago I realized that what was keeping me stuck in a feeling of unworthiness was that I had gotten into a habit of thinking unworthy, unkind thoughts about myself. Because it was a habit, I didn’t even realize what I was thinking. It just felt normal to think that way. This habit not only lowered my self-worth but it often expressed itself as melancholy, depression, and a general discontent. And because I was unaware of my unworthy thoughts, I did not understand why I often felt down which made me feel even worse. All those 80 million unkind thoughts about myself (see last post) caused a lot of harm!
So, it is important that we become aware and get into the new habit of thinking worthy, kind thoughts about ourselves. To get this new habit started, try these tips: Intentionally think worthy thoughts at set times during each day; recite them over and over; write some down; think 3 to 5 kind thoughts about ourselves at a time. Keep doing a regimen like this until thinking kindly about ourselves feels second nature.
To increase self-worth, not only should we think differently about ourselves, but we also must act differently. Consider these actions:
Let’s accept praise and compliments. It is amazing how often we deny or refuse a compliment. Someone says, You are so talented or creative or handy, etc. Or I love that sweater you picked out. Most often, people will respond, Oh it was nothing or It could have been better or It’s not that great. Or worse, point out their own flaws! Are we taught it is good manners to not accept and acknowledge praise and compliments? It may break a rule of proper etiquette to accept compliments, but it is time to dismiss those rules.
Acknowledge and take credit for our strengths and affirm our talents. Know what we are good at and then have an air of confidence about such things. There is no need to be humble about what we are good at. (Remember, we are God’s creations and everybody is special, unique, and worthy. No need for comparisons to others.)
Speak up for ourselves. This is not in an angry or, necessarily, bold way. But, from a place of knowing that it is ok to say what we feel. We speak freely, always with joy and kindness. Our desires, interests and opinions matter and deserve to be heard.
Take special notice the next few days of compliments from others and say, thanks! This week, let’s remind ourselves of our talents, abilities and the things we have a knack for and commend ourselves. Let’s also speak what we feel, joyfully and kindly.
Increasing Self-Worth, Part 3 coming up next week!